Work or home ?

Today I participated with two other friends of mine in a debating competition.One of the motions we has to discuss was that women’s place should be at work. Luckily, our team had to defend this idea while our opponents had to advocate for her staying at home. After finishing the debate, I went to the oppenent team members (who were two girls and one boy) and thanked them for the debate. I expressed my appreciation for the argumentation they did because I found it challenging for girls these days to pretend encouraging women to stay at home. But the big surprise I had is that the two girls told me that they believed in every word they said and that they were convinced of all the arguements they mentionned. So immediately I had the reflection to go back in time and think depeer in what they said during their speeches, and that made more shocked and traumatized.

First, they think that women should stay at home in order to take care of their children and husbands. They believe that the mother’s constant presence in the house is important to the kids education and growing. According to them, children who are raised with working mothers who don’t see all the day are more likely to have psychological disorders , self estime problems and social integration obstacles.

The second argument they mentionned was that a women who work and come back late at night to the house, won’t have enough time for the house chores . This means that house chores are women’s main priority in the society and work is just a secondary optional choice.

But the funniest reason for me was that women who work a lot (especially women in leading positions) don’t have enough time to their husbands. And following this theory, this lack of attention and care will push these husbands to committ adultery and find secret mistresses to satisfy their unsatisfied needs.

Personally, I can discuss the first argument. I cannot deny it completely. From my personal experience, growing up with my mother at home the whole day was beneficial for me. But still, It dosen’t mean that I don’t have some social integration or psycological problems. Besides, It is not only the mother’s role to provide the kids with the care and love they need. Fathers have to engage and be part of the process. And actually, raising children is a very difficult job that not every man or woman can be good at. So for example, sometimes, raising the child with an experienced babysitter will be better than his own mother doing it because she is not familiar with that and she can even hurt him without knowing instead of supporting him .

And about not finding time for the house chores : We are in the 21st century people !!! wake up !!! Why we still live in a society where women themselves believe that their main role in life is taking care of the house chores ? This dosen’t mean that I don’t respect women at home who are doing that. It’s their choice and they are comfortable with that. But it dosen’t have to be all women’s choice. And same thing for men. Why can’t we accept the idea of a man taking care of the cleaning and cooking in the house ? Some men feel more comfortable when staying at their places instead of working outside. So as you can see, the problem doesn’t concern only women, but it goes both ways.

Of course, I will abstain of commenting the last argument which is a pity theory made and inherited by some women to make the their men’s superiority in our societies legitime.

And as a conclusion, I just want to clarify that by this small analysis of mine I don’t mean that working women are superior to women at home or that I underestimate them. For me, staying at home and taking care of the children matters is mainly a task that must be shared by both partners men and women. But more important, It’s a personal choice that a man or woman can take. So a man can stay at home while his wife is working and the oppsite is possible too. And of course, none of the two cases is better than the other. Both can be a succesful deal. It just depends on what the partners like and feel more comfortable in.