Should a volunteer change his look or
behavior in front of the community or people he’s helping in order to avoid
conflict and be accepted, or do his identity and freedom come first? A strange
question I never thought of before until last week, during a regional workshop
about volunteering in the Arab world. When speaking about how a good volunteer
should do, some of the participants agreed that the best volunteer should
always try to act « ideal » whether in front of those he’s serving or if he’s
training new ones. The example given was the scouts. One of the leaders in a
scout association said that, when training young children, she doesn't do what
she does in her everyday life. And she mentioned that she is highly selective
when it comes to sharing personal photos of her on her Facebook account. She
says that she doesn't want the girls (who consider her a leader according to
her statements) to see many behaviors or acts she does. She shows them the «
good perfect girl » image they have to be. Also, she believes that by training
them to be this type of humans, she guarantees their acceptance when they
volunteer in the future. She thinks if someone tries to help a group that is
different in any way, they will consider his help an offense for them or disrespect.
Such things will be provocative for them and create conflicts, so the volunteer
should compromise and hide what’s different in him to please them and serve
them without hurting their feelings.
All of this made me ask a lot of
questions I never asked before, and I believe I was right to ask especially
when I remember some personal volunteering experiences I lived before. First,
why do our communities and education always tend to raise a uniform society
made of perfect good boys and girls who have a specific attitude, look,
language, etc. ? Why can’t we teach our children starting an early age that
there is no perfect person, and that there are no good or bad people, Our
society is made of different kinds of humans? And all of them have their bads
and goods. So why do we try to destroy something unique and make a robot
instead (which will end eventually as a human with a hidden psychological need
of something)? Education and children clubs are theoretically made to raise
creative leaders and prepare them to face the world and handle it. But with
these methods, all we do is make them live a dream for years from which they
will wake up in their teenage years and live the shock. And this method of
training not only destroys the kids’ differences but also feeds the intolerance
and the extremism in them to consider everyone different, wrong.
And now we blame a person who wants to
help another person and accuse them of being provocative just because they’re
being themselves and not acting like hypocrites as many do. Instead of
encouraging them and supporting them, we only put extra obstacles that make
them hate volunteering and quit. Wouldn’t it be better if we tried to find a
solution to the intolerance issue our communities have? No, we give them the
right and support then bring them on-order volunteers to serve.
I believe this is hypocrisy. And if we
take a look at our history, we will find that most of the acceptance moments
between different communities happened when one needed help, and another gave a
hand, like when Jews came to Tunisia for example. It’s a lesson that
unfortunately some people learn the hard way. But it seems that in the 21st
century, even the hard way is becoming harder and harder.
