Freedom Vs Volunteering

Should a volunteer change his look or behavior in front of the community or people he’s helping in order to avoid conflict and be accepted, or do his identity and freedom come first? A strange question I never thought of before until last week, during a regional workshop about volunteering in the Arab world. When speaking about how a good volunteer should do, some of the participants agreed that the best volunteer should always try to act « ideal » whether in front of those he’s serving or if he’s training new ones. The example given was the scouts. One of the leaders in a scout association said that, when training young children, she doesn't do what she does in her everyday life. And she mentioned that she is highly selective when it comes to sharing personal photos of her on her Facebook account. She says that she doesn't want the girls (who consider her a leader according to her statements) to see many behaviors or acts she does. She shows them the « good perfect girl » image they have to be. Also, she believes that by training them to be this type of humans, she guarantees their acceptance when they volunteer in the future. She thinks if someone tries to help a group that is different in any way, they will consider his help an offense for them or disrespect. Such things will be provocative for them and create conflicts, so the volunteer should compromise and hide what’s different in him to please them and serve them without hurting their feelings.

All of this made me ask a lot of questions I never asked before, and I believe I was right to ask especially when I remember some personal volunteering experiences I lived before. First, why do our communities and education always tend to raise a uniform society made of perfect good boys and girls who have a specific attitude, look, language, etc. ? Why can’t we teach our children starting an early age that there is no perfect person, and that there are no good or bad people, Our society is made of different kinds of humans? And all of them have their bads and goods. So why do we try to destroy something unique and make a robot instead (which will end eventually as a human with a hidden psychological need of something)? Education and children clubs are theoretically made to raise creative leaders and prepare them to face the world and handle it. But with these methods, all we do is make them live a dream for years from which they will wake up in their teenage years and live the shock. And this method of training not only destroys the kids’ differences but also feeds the intolerance and the extremism in them to consider everyone different, wrong.

And now we blame a person who wants to help another person and accuse them of being provocative just because they’re being themselves and not acting like hypocrites as many do. Instead of encouraging them and supporting them, we only put extra obstacles that make them hate volunteering and quit. Wouldn’t it be better if we tried to find a solution to the intolerance issue our communities have? No, we give them the right and support then bring them on-order volunteers to serve.

I believe this is hypocrisy. And if we take a look at our history, we will find that most of the acceptance moments between different communities happened when one needed help, and another gave a hand, like when Jews came to Tunisia for example. It’s a lesson that unfortunately some people learn the hard way. But it seems that in the 21st century, even the hard way is becoming harder and harder.

When eating becomes a crime

Recently I’ve seen a lot of articles speaking about how policemen are taking citizens (and I insist on the fact that they are tunisian citizens)  who eat or drink in public during Ramadan to the prisons. In the begining, I didn’t believe these articles and I thought they are just rumors tryning to make the websites get more viewers. But then, I realized that it’s just the reality, and that there is a law that justifies such a behavior. Also, and from some friends in other arab countries, I discovered that this kind of arrestations exists in their countries too. But the most chocking moment for me was when one of my friends (a tunisian) shared her personal opinion on this issue and expressed how these laws are making her ashamed and disgusted, and one her followers (who is also a tunisian young citizen ) said « that this is justified, they deserve to be punished because they didn’t respect people who are fasting  ». For him, « a month in prison is a good lesson to make them learn to respect muslims and don’t eat as the law says ».

This post was like a slap in the face for me. It made me wake up from a fantasy I was living and believing in, in which Tunisia is a country of freedom of choice and respect. I always thought that I am living in a country of diversity and co existence. I always believed that terrorism and extremism are external, and that the government and the tunisian constitution are fighting. All this and more disappered when I read the articles and this comment on my friend’s facebook post. Now I am pretty sure that terrorism is something that unfortunately exists in the souls of some of us without being brainwashed or manipulated, and try to advocate and promote it. And from what I see now, the government is not fighting terrorism, but supporting it and helping it. Because terrorism is not only in attacks and murders, but also in imposing your religious belief on someone else and punishing him when he doesn’t follow you. We just reachs a level where eating or drinking is considered as a felany and is more dangerous that sexual harrasment or stealing !!!

The argument this category of people often use to justify their extreme position is that Tunisia is a muslim country, and that the majority of its citizens are muslims. And when a person eats in front of a muslim who is fasting is disrespectful because it is considered as a provocative way to make him desire food and stop fasting. In fact, isn’t the main purpose of Ramadan (as they claim) to make people feel the pain and hunger poor people are living on a daily basis ? Well, poor people see the others citizens eat in front of them all the time and don’t complain. So why don’t they accept seeing someone drink when they are fasting and live it as a part of the experience ? This shows how ridiculous and weak is their argumentation, and how they try to use every opportunity to make our society a homogenous one.

Is it that much difficult to accept different people who are surrounding us and co exist with them ? Why many people see the fact that others have not the same traditions as them as a manner of disrespect and invasion. Being muslim or fasting dosen’t give anyone the eligibility to impose his habits on others or makes him responsible of « guiding them to the right path ». And  this  doesn’t mean that this is an exclusively Islam thing. All religions are concerned, because people everywhere try to use them as an argument to justify division and hate ideas.

But thankfully, for every dark side there is a bright one. This community of extremism and mental terrorism is a minority in Tunisia. Maybe such ideas were more common in the previous generations, but for sure, youth these days is more open and trying to do its best to stop and erase such thoughts. The fact that this kind debates and conversations is happening now in the coffee shops and the small meetings is a sign of progress and a step to the change. For sure it’s a long road of fighting and resisting  to end this extremism, but there is no doubt tunisians will reach eventually the real complete freedom of choice one day. Because as our grand parents made it possible 50 years ago to say that women emancipation in Tunisia is a reality while we are surrounded by countries where women in some of them recently got their right to drive cars, we as future leaders will manage to solve this issue of religion acceptance and say that Tunisia is a country where every religion is welcomed.

Work or home ?

Today I participated with two other friends of mine in a debating competition.One of the motions we has to discuss was that women’s place should be at work. Luckily, our team had to defend this idea while our opponents had to advocate for her staying at home. After finishing the debate, I went to the oppenent team members (who were two girls and one boy) and thanked them for the debate. I expressed my appreciation for the argumentation they did because I found it challenging for girls these days to pretend encouraging women to stay at home. But the big surprise I had is that the two girls told me that they believed in every word they said and that they were convinced of all the arguements they mentionned. So immediately I had the reflection to go back in time and think depeer in what they said during their speeches, and that made more shocked and traumatized.

First, they think that women should stay at home in order to take care of their children and husbands. They believe that the mother’s constant presence in the house is important to the kids education and growing. According to them, children who are raised with working mothers who don’t see all the day are more likely to have psychological disorders , self estime problems and social integration obstacles.

The second argument they mentionned was that a women who work and come back late at night to the house, won’t have enough time for the house chores . This means that house chores are women’s main priority in the society and work is just a secondary optional choice.

But the funniest reason for me was that women who work a lot (especially women in leading positions) don’t have enough time to their husbands. And following this theory, this lack of attention and care will push these husbands to committ adultery and find secret mistresses to satisfy their unsatisfied needs.

Personally, I can discuss the first argument. I cannot deny it completely. From my personal experience, growing up with my mother at home the whole day was beneficial for me. But still, It dosen’t mean that I don’t have some social integration or psycological problems. Besides, It is not only the mother’s role to provide the kids with the care and love they need. Fathers have to engage and be part of the process. And actually, raising children is a very difficult job that not every man or woman can be good at. So for example, sometimes, raising the child with an experienced babysitter will be better than his own mother doing it because she is not familiar with that and she can even hurt him without knowing instead of supporting him .

And about not finding time for the house chores : We are in the 21st century people !!! wake up !!! Why we still live in a society where women themselves believe that their main role in life is taking care of the house chores ? This dosen’t mean that I don’t respect women at home who are doing that. It’s their choice and they are comfortable with that. But it dosen’t have to be all women’s choice. And same thing for men. Why can’t we accept the idea of a man taking care of the cleaning and cooking in the house ? Some men feel more comfortable when staying at their places instead of working outside. So as you can see, the problem doesn’t concern only women, but it goes both ways.

Of course, I will abstain of commenting the last argument which is a pity theory made and inherited by some women to make the their men’s superiority in our societies legitime.

And as a conclusion, I just want to clarify that by this small analysis of mine I don’t mean that working women are superior to women at home or that I underestimate them. For me, staying at home and taking care of the children matters is mainly a task that must be shared by both partners men and women. But more important, It’s a personal choice that a man or woman can take. So a man can stay at home while his wife is working and the oppsite is possible too. And of course, none of the two cases is better than the other. Both can be a succesful deal. It just depends on what the partners like and feel more comfortable in.

Old strong Lady

I took this photo in the hospital I work in 2 days ago. It was built by a great woman CALLED Aziza Othmana 400 years ago for charity .Instead of being a museum or a public place for people to visit and enjoy, this charming full of stories building, is now an public administration where visit is not allowed only if you’re sick or you work there .Unfortunately, there, all the decoration of the walls is hidden behind mountains of papers and documents, most of the old wood doors are replaced with aluminium ones ,all  the columns are strangled by electricity and internet cables… I was suprised to find one that has no cables or cement on it .

MedinaPedia

« You really use Wikipedia to do research ? How lazy and superficial ! »

A sentence I have been hearing for years, whether in high school, university, work or anywhere else. Eventually, even I started underestimating people who use Wikipedia as a credible source, despite the fact that I kept using it secretly. I had stayed this way until three years ago when I fell in love with the Medina of Tunis and tried to discover it. To be honest, I didn’t try to buy or borrow any history books to read. It was summer and I wanted to have an exciting adventure. So what I did was that I went directly to the Medina with a map and tried to find the historical sites and some basic information about them using my phone. Unfortunately, I didn’t find anything about most of the Medina sites in Wikipedia. I found some PDF versions of historical books, but as I said earlier, I didn’t want to spend my day locked in my room reading a written description about a building that I can visit for real and enjoy directly. Also, all I was looking for was just some simple information like when and by whom the building was founded, the origin of its name, the original use of it and some old photos of either of how it was before, or current ones (especially if the place is not allowed to public access). So as you can see, I didn’t reach my goal to get to know the Medina better and discover its wealth and beauty, until last September when I met the MedinaPedia team and joined it.

MedinaPedia is a project in which members do research about different buildings in the Medina, collect photos of them and assemble them in well-structured Wikipedia articles. At the begining, I was terrified : Are we going to write the history of our Medina and share it on a worldwilde platform? We’re not even history students. What if we write false information? Do we have proof of our credibility? Our language is not that sophisticated, what if we make grammar mistakes? And mostly, how are we going to write a Wikipedia article? We don’t even know the codes and the tools of the platform. But thankfully, our coordinators and the trainers believed in us. And after some training sessions and a lot of questions, writing or translating the article became an easy task. But the main important thing that was for me the most enriching part, was having access to the library of Dar Lasram and some of its precious documents about the Medina (I had to read some books, but this time it was interesting). It made me discover many amazing facts about my Tunisian roots which made me more proud of my background and strenghthened my passion toward it.

Apart from the personal impact MedinaPedia had on me, it had a larger impact on my society and other people interested in the Medina’s treasures. Because thanks to the articles we wrote and shared, the secrets of the Medina’s palaces, mosques, medrasas and souks, are now revealed. Now any visitor or local wanting to get informed about a specific building, will most likely get a basic description of it and won’t have to get through the disappointement I’ve been through in my first attempt. And the impact that I doubted will happen at the begining was more clear during the Interference Festival in the Medina. I was a tour guide, and all the knowledge I got while writing the articles helped me accomplish properly my mission when presenting the sites for the visitors. None of the visitors I guided during the festival believed that I am a medical student and that I have no relation with history school.

At the end of every night during the festival, I would check the statistics on my Wikipedia account, and I would find a huge number of views on our articles. This proved that many like me, used Wikipedia to know more about the places they visited. And thanks to MedinaPedia, all their eager was fullfilled. And for sure, they are Medina lovers now.

So now, I am proud to say that not only I use Wikipedia for my researches, but also, I write them.

P.S: Link to all my Wikipedia contribibutions: https://tools.wmflabs.org/guc/?user=Houssem+Abida

Public Taste

Public taste ! That was the word of the day for me. It was in a small debate about litterature in Tunisia when a participant (who turned out to be working in a publishing house) mentionned it by saying : we cannot publish and sell every book that is submitted for us because we are responsible of protecting the public taste that we respect and guarantee a minimum level for our readers. According to her and some other participants, not everyone has the right to write or produce. Not everyone is creative or smart to « bring a plus » or add something to the Tunisian artistic heritage.  They think that because of the development of communication technologies and mostly the freedom of expression after the revolution, we are witnessing a new phenomen where everyone claims  to be an artist and writes something trying to share it with others. Also, this group finds that unfortunately, some of the famous writers we are familiar with their names  are over-rated and don’t deserve that much of recognition. While on the other hand, others who are worth the respect and the following ,are not enough famous need more appreciation. Finally,  they believe that it’s our fault as a community and youth specifically to not know about them and just read what the « over-rated » writers produce .

Well, my question is, based on what criteria you  judge a book or an art work in general if it is worth the recognition and the success he got ? Based on what criteria you give the right to someone to write and produce and deprive someone else of that right ?How do you know if he’s creative enough or not ? is it based on your personal taste ?Your surveys results ?The critic experts articles ?

Actually, don’t you think that the commercial artists you diminished their value changed millions of readers lives ?Made them smile even for a second or take them to another imaginary world none of the artists you’re defending could guide them too ?Don’t you see any creativity or power in attracting people to your thoughts and keeping them attached waiting for the upcoming books ?

Of course I cannot deny the fact that there are writers who deserve to be more known and under the spot. But that dosen’t mean that an artist is more important than others. Each one has his own special style that attracts a specific kind of followers or readers. So why stopping someone from writing under the pretext they are not enough creative or smart to do so. Why saying it’s a bad phenomen we’re witnessing that everyone is trying to write and publish? Let everyone express their thoughts and feelings .They are humans and they are creating something human. So for sure other humans on this earth will connect to it. Even if it reaches only one person’s heart ,that’s more than enough. Because isn’t that what art is all about :seeing what you live,feel,wish,hope for in someone else’s work ? getting inspiration ,motivation and power to survive and continue the daily struggle of life ? isn’t art letting all the energy prisonned inside of us get liberated and shine on others ? I believe art is the best way to link people and reach cohesion. So why cutting this beautiful link and depriving some people of their right to live and to inspire others to live too ?Everyone has his own problems, concerns, hopes and dreams that makes our different tastes and ways to see life. So why looking for a « public taste » that extract this beautiful enriching difference that makes us humans and just turns us into animals who look for the same things ?

Photos: Medina Book Club

Rencontres fortuites

Ce qui nous emporte dans l’exiguïté des choses
Ne peut provenir de la vastitude
Nous passons notre vie
A rêver de l’immensité de l'horizon et
Nous finissons tôt ou tard par
Nous retrouver coincés dans
          [l'étroitesse du monde

Mais où vont nos pieds
Quand ils n'ont point d'adresses ?
Nul n'est doué pour les rencontres fortuites et
A la recherche d'un destin,
Des pas ne cessent de se faire
Alors pas ne cessent de se faire
Alors que tout, s'est depuis longtemps arrêté.


Slaheddine Haddad
A La Goulette, une envie désordonnée de Petite Sicile.